CARPE DIEM, TOMORROW!

The things we do!

2009-05-01T21:42:00.002Z

Well it's been 5 whole days now since I had my last cigarette...never thought it would be this easy!
I've had the odd craving, stress related, but it soon goes...the craving that is!
All I need to do is use the same will power to get fit and into shape in order to amaze and stun my beautiful wife when I see her again.

Wow, almost a year and back with a challenge!

2006-10-24T10:31:00.000Z

Hello all, yes it's been almost a year, maybe another year after this entry!

Your starter for 10.

Which country, carrying this banner, struck fear into the invading armies?

Answer will come soon.

Let's all get ready for St Edmunds Day on November 20th.

Oh come on

2005-11-05T10:15:00.000Z

I was watching a documentary last night on the Gunpowder plot (Here's a link for all of you non - English types out there who may not be quite upto date yet on World History), produced by the BBC and broadcast on BBC2!

The producers of Timewatch usually give a very rounded view of the whole story leading to the event and a detailed explanation of the consequences after, which, to their credit, they did!

What struck me, like a bolt of lightening, knocked me senseless and dumbfounded, made me so mad that I could crush a grape was their review of the place this event in today's world.
They were asking the question whether with all the religious hatred in the world, should we as a nation still be celebrating the capture of a band of Catholic terrorists some 400 years later, especially now as we are a "Post Christian society"!!!!!

I SAY YES, OF COURSE WE BLOODY SHOULD.
History teaches us valuable lessons and lessons we should never forget!

Well my friends, may I cast your minds and eyes back to my post "I'll tell you what it's all about!!" dated the 3rd November. I can understand people wanting World Peace and safe place to bring up their kids but at what price to a Nations History and Our National Pride.

If you are still reading, here is the full Gunpowder rhyme!

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'twas his intent to blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!
A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
A farthing o' cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!

France Elevates its Security Level

2005-11-05T10:07:00.000Z

France Elevates its Security Level

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666 and don't get me started on the Irish!

I'll tell you what it's all about!!

2005-11-03T12:11:00.000Z

What the hell is wrong with our country.

Councils all over the England are no longer having ceremonies to turn on the Christmas Lights, it's not politically correct, it's now known as turning on the Winter Lights!!!

What the F**K.

What ever happened to calling a spade a spade and Christmas, Christmas!!??

Listen to the people, your People, the English, you know the ones, some of us have ancestral roots going back centuries when Normans were just the French, England managers were English and you could buy a Cornish pasty anywhere in the British Isles!

We want to have our language, our idioms and rites back.

Take a look at the Jewish , Hindu, Muslim and Buddhist festivals and languages......They haven't changed their way of life to accommodate their foreign nationals or immigrants, they appreciate that these festivals pre-date all these asylum seekers, so why the hell should we?

We will be calling Father Christmas, Santa Claus soon and wishing everyone Happy Holidays to be safe!

I have travelled to a few country's I have tried to accept their customs, I refrained from smoking and drinking in public during Ramadan in the Gulf, seen how cute the Americans have been in adapting the Rugby league game to suit themselves and allow their boys to wear padding, so they all get home safely for Thanksgiving dinner and I have asked questions about the cultures and tried to learn the language, in an effort to fit in with them!

So if I can do it, why the hell can't they?

My Grandfather would turn in his grave if he could see what was going on now.

If you do something, do this today!

2005-09-29T22:48:00.000Z

Jordan is safe and sound thanks to media saturation..Mom turned herself in!

Goto this Blog and help this family, this child!

Ah Shit!

2005-09-28T23:00:00.000Z

I gave up my ideal career to become a House Husband and Domestic God, which is not one of my ideal Career types!?

It appears I had already found it!

I suppose I should be glad that it doesn't say that my worst career options are husband and father!

This also explains why Social workers and I, do not get on!

Your Career Type: Realistic

You are practical and mechanical.Your talents lie in working with tools, mechanical or electrical drawings, machines, or animals.
You would make an excellent:
Carpenter - Diesel Mechanic - Electrician - Farmer - Fire Fighter - Flight Engineer - Forester - Locksmith - Locomotive EngineerPilot - Police Officer - Truck Driver.

The worst career options for your are social careers, like social worker or teacher.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

Free sex for 8 years? Join the Catholic Priesthood!

2005-09-23T21:44:00.000Z

This was the nicest title I could bring myself to come up with!
Mother fucking, cock sucking, ass bandit was another, but I didn't want to offend anyone!

Look at the image on the right, ahhh, poor old man..Then read this:

"Sex abuse priest given four years"

Gregory Carroll (remember the name) abused boys over an eight-year periodA Catholic priest who taught at the prestigious Ampleforth public school in North Yorkshire has been jailed for four years for sexually abusing boys.

That's not bad is it, cause terror and ruin the minds of little school boys and expect a sentence for half the time you carried out these heinous crimes.
If you read the full story you'll find that he had been caught before and was just moved around.

This Wanker needs to be hung, drawn and quartered at the Tower of London with free entry and coverage extended to all media!
Then an Independent committee needs to be formed and allowed entry into the Vatican, with access to all areas and to find out just how many more of these bastards are around!

Just how many more times can we be expected to hear these stories and all the cover ups by this church!

Before any of you Christian types start giving me shit, here's your thought of the Day:
The victims could have been your loved ones!

Read the full story......

What sort of Rocker are you?

2005-09-22T22:32:00.000Z

Fortunately or unfortunately, My wife will vouch for this, although nowadays I tend to be a little more Passive Aggressive!

You Are a Punk Rocker!

When it comes to rock, you don't follow any rules
You know that rocking out is all about taking down the man
You've got an incredible stage presence and rock persona
You scare moms, make bad girls (or boys) swoon, and live life on the edge!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

A President for 41 cents

2005-09-21T23:56:00.000Z

Well I knew that George Bush's ratings were falling drastically.....

but now you can buy the President fo 41 cents!!

Monica Lewinsky is going for just 40 cents...

Read the full story!"

This was my week that was!

2005-09-18T01:02:00.000Z

Well My week started really bad. Last Saturday lunchtime My beloved Plymouth Argyle, live on television, put up the worst performance I have ever seen and lost! Not only did they lose, they got themselves into the record books as the 1st Argyle side not to score in 5 games!

I watched "The Last Night Of the Proms" on Saturday night and was appalled at the lack of English Pride. In the Albert Hall itself there were more and more International flags as seems to be coming the norm nowadays, but then on the outside links to the "Party in the Park" at various locations across the UK, the other home nations were proudly displaying their National Flag, not a Union Flag in sight, they were either Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish and what did the English parade, The George Cross, oh no, they waved the Union Flag. What the F**k!

The English Cricket Teams did a double over their Aussie counterparts, not only did the Ladies defeat the Aussies last month, but the Men played out a draw in the 5th and final test to take the series 2-1 and both teams reclaimed the Ashes.
Well done to you all for restoring some English sporting pride, after the dismal performances of the England football team (mentioned briefly in a prior post!

This one is for my wife!

The Pride and Passion

2005-09-08T19:54:00.000Z

The Pride and Passion were there last night for all to see, as England's last away fixture in this qualifying group got under way.....The Anthem was sang with such gusto and from the off it was obvious that the team were up for it.

Not one 50/50 tackle was lost, they never let the opposition have any time on the ball and hustled and bustled them into making mistake after mistake, until finally after about 35 mins, the opposition heads went down and the rest is history.

I wish I was writing this about the English performance, but alas, this post gives full praise to the Northern Irish.
Their determination and team spirit won them this game and I will not say anything to take it away from them!

I do however have one last statement which became very clear to me last night as I lay in bed contemplating this defeat.......Northern Ireland play in Green!

Eureka!!!
That's it....all the prima donnas of English football want to play for Plymouth Argyle, no wonder they kept passing the ball to them!

On that performance though ladies, I can tell you now, stay where you are, we fight and wear our shirts with Pride, something the England team hasn't done for a while now. You wouldn't even make the Great Britfuck team on that evidence.

Well done Northern Ireland!

I got a great kick out of this

2005-09-06T20:24:00.000Z

You have to see this website and search the logs!

I linked to "Cruel site of the day" as part of "My Yahoo" front page.

I have just taken my first look and laughed my arse off!

A quick low down:

A profile is put up with a girl's name and picture, and put in "Skype me" mode. Within minutes some seedy guy will invariably try calling/chatting, and there's a little program I made running the whole time which will partner up people 2 at a time, and send messages from the first person to the second, & vice versa. This way both people think they're talking to a girl, when they find out, well, they're not normally too happy about it... It'll also accept and receive all files sent, and if someone tries to call, it'll accept the call with an answerphone message and log what the person says.

Take a look at the site and read some of the conversations and see the pictures!

This can't be good.....can it?

2005-09-06T08:29:00.000Z

ADOLF HITLER
Achtung!

You are 61% brainwashworthy,

72% antitolerant, and

100% blindly patriotic

You probably you lack the charisma and intelligence to be Hitler himself, but then again, who knows? You've got a few of the necessary traits, at least. You are crazy, nationalistic, and very proud of your background.

Right now I am breathing a big sigh of relief that you don't live in Germany in the 1930's, although I guess things couldn't have gone any worse than they did, even with your help. Maybe all this energy that you feel right now could be directed to an end less evil? Are you a Police Officer? Not in my town, I hope. (Scott says, "The funny is, I used to be a Police Officer!")

Sadly, you exceeded expectations on all 3 indicators.

Deutschland: Uber Alles!

- new test, it rules, take it -
The Terrorism Test

A week to remember?

2005-09-06T07:47:00.000Z

A great week of sporting magic is upon us.

On Wednesday we have England taking on the Northern Irish in another World cup qualifier. Let's hope for a better display and the right result against an International outfit which has just notched up it's first win in 4 years!

On Thursday, The final test, England take on the has beens of World Cricket and a former colony, for what should be a momentous occassion, securing the Ashes and returning them to their rightful home!

And of course, the Mighty Argyle take on another has been, Norwich City on Saturday. For those of you with a thirst for how the game should be played can catch this game live on SKY sports beginning at Midday.

One last National cheer for the English and C'mon you Greens!

Book Thingy!

2005-09-05T23:30:00.000Z

Another idea stolen, this time from SK !

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the 4th sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you!

"He was walking properly, or almost properly."

From my current book which I have only 30 pages left!
Stonehenge By Bernard Cornwell

Link Whore, who me?!

2005-09-05T21:24:00.000Z

I just stole this idea from Shannon at Make it Count

The rules:Remove the #1 item from the following list, bump everyone up one place and add your blog's name in the #5 spot. You need to do an actual link to each of the blogs for the link-whorage aspect of this fiendish meme to have it work properly.

1. Vampyregirl
2. Bathed in Moonlight
3. Thoughts and rants of the new minority
4. Make it Count
5. Carpe Diem Tomorrow!

I just thought this was a too cool idea....give it a try, what's the worst that could happen? You actually stumble onto a blog or two that you may not have otherwise and find that you like them? That you really, really like them! Yeah, I'd say it's worth the effort.

I certainly a few cool sites to visit!

Three Lions?

2005-09-03T23:34:00.000Z

Not quite the Performance we were looking for, but a win is a win even if it was just the Welsh and soon perhaps the all the Lions will come together and savage the opposition.
We seem to 2 lions short of a team at the moment.

Why is it that during every game I can never sit back and enjoy the game, every time the opposition attacks, I think to myself, here we go, 1 nil!

To me there still is too much, "Well I am wearing the shirt, that's it"
Well I am here to tell you that IT'S NOT!!!
Where's the pride, where's the conviction, where's the honour, wear the shirt and be proud, you wear that shirt for 40 million English people who kick every ball, header every cross and jump in at every tackle, and as for the friendly, what is a friendly, a chance for a nation with a very poor record against to stick one to us, build their confidence and esteem as another national outfit which has defeated the Great English Football Team.

No more chopping and changing, get it right and perform, play to our strengths, not the way the foreigners play, my god, we are European Champions and boast some of the best teams in the World!

Top 100 from My final school year!

2005-09-03T22:29:00.000Z

Got this idea from Kate at Pulled in many directions

The top 100 songs from the year I left Grammar School
Highlighted in Red are My favourite songs from the year I left school.

1. When Doves Cry, Prince
2. What's Love Got To Do With It, Tina Turner
3. Say Say Say, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
4. Footloose, Kenny Loggins
5. Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now), Phil Collins
6. Jump, Van Halen
7. Hello, Lionel Richie
8. Owner Of A Lonely Heart, Yes
9. Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.
10. Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
11. Missing You, John Waite
12. All Night Long (All Night), Lionel Richie
13. Let's Hear It For The Boy, Deniece Williams
14. Dancing In The Dark, Bruce Springsteen
15. Girls Just Want To Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper
16. The Reflex, Duran Duran
17. Time After Time, Cyndi Lauper
18. Jump (For My Love), Pointer Sisters
19. Talking In Your Sleep, Romantics
20. Self Control, Laura Branigan
21. Let's Go Crazy, Prince and The Revolution
22. Say It Isn't So, Daryl Hall and John Oates
23. Hold Me Now, Thompson Twins
24. Joanna, Kool and The Gang
25. I Just Called To Say I Love You, Stevie Wonder
26. Somebody's Watching Me, Rockwell
27. Break My Stride, Matthew Wilder
28. 99 Luftballons, Nena
29. I Can Dream About You, Dan Hartman
30. The Glamorous Life, Sheila E.
31. Oh Sherrie, Steve Perry
32. Stuck On You, Lionel Richie
33. I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues, Elton John
34. She Bop, Cyndi Lauper
35. Borderline, Madonna
36. Sunglasses At Night, Corey Hart
37. Eyes Without A Face, Billy Idol
38. Here Comes The Rain Again, Eurythmics
39. Uptown Girl, Billy Joel
40. Sister Christian, Night Ranger
41. Drive, Cars
42. Twist Of Fate, Olivia Newton-John
43. Union Of The Snake, Duran Duran
44. The Heart Of Rock 'N' Roll, Huey Lewis and The News
45. Hard Habit To Break, Chicago
46. The Warrior, Scandal
47. If Ever You're In My Arms Again, Peabo Bryson
48. Automatic, Pointer Sisters
49. Let The Music Play, Shannon
50. To All The Girls I've Loved Before, Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson
51. Caribbean Queen, Billy Ocean
52. That's All, Genesis
53. Running With The Night, Lionel Richie
54. Sad Songs (Say So Much), Elton John
55. I Want A New Drug, Huey Lewis and The News
56. Islands In The Stream, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
57. Love Is A Battlefield, Pat Benatar
58. Infatuation, Rod Stewart
59. Almost Paradise, Mike Reno and Ann Wilson
60. Legs, ZZ Top
61. State Of Shock, Jacksons
62. Love Somebody, Rick Springfield
63. Miss Me Blind, Culture Club
64. If This Is It, Huey Lewis and The News
65. You Might Think, Cars
66. Lucky Star, Madonna
67. Cover Me, Bruce Springsteen
68. Cum On Feel The Noize, Quiet Riot
69. Breakdance, Irene Cara
70. Adult Education, Daryl Hall and John Oates
71. They Don't Know, Tracy Ullman
72. An Innocent Man, Billy Joel
73. Cruel Summer, Bananarama
74. Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung
75. Give It Up, K.C.
76. I'm So Excited, Pointer Sisters
77. I Still Can't Get Over Loving You, Ray Parker Jr.
78. Thriller, Michael Jackson
79. Holiday, Madonna
80. Breakin'... There's No Stopping Us, Ollie And Jerry
81. Nobody Told Me, John Lennon
82. Church Of The Poison Mind, Culture Club
83. Think Of Laura, Christopher Cross
84. Time Will Reveal, Debarge
85. Wrapped Around Your Finger, Police
86. Pink Houses, John Cougar Mellencamp
87. Round And Round, Ratt
88. Head Over Heels, Go-Go's
89. The Longest Time, Billy Joel
90. Tonight, Kool and The Gang
91. Got A Hold On Me, Christine McVie
92. Dancing In The Sheets, Shalamar
93. Undercover Of The Night, Rolling Stones
94. On The Dark Side, John Cafferty and The Beaver Brown Band
95. New Moon On Monday, Duran Duran
96. Major Tom (Coming Home), Peter Schilling
97. Magic, Cars
98. When You Close Your Eyes, Night Ranger
99. Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier
100. Yah Mo B There, James Ingram and Michael McDonald

Now if in a court of Law, I am called upon to verify a few of these titles as favourites, I will unquestionably and categorically deny a few!

To join in go to Music Outfitters Type in the year you graduated school under "Search" and then just cut and paste, not forgetting to highlight your favourites

Twat of the millennium!

2005-09-01T21:14:00.000Z

This accolade goes to FIFA President, Sepp Blatter!

Fifa insists a Great Britain team has to play at the 2012 Olympics but, in doing so, has said each home nation's individual status will not be affected.

As a very proud footballing nation, nay, Nation, We the English should not be made a party to this violation of our heritage.

I don't see Spain and Portugal uniting as one, Italy and Switzerland or the Scandinavians, so why try to impose this awful dereliction of National Pride on us?

He says:

"We have confirmed in writing that they have to provide a Great Britain team for the 2012 Olympics," said Fifa president Sepp Blatter.

"But the four British associations will not lose the rights and privileges acquired back in 1947.

"They will play with one team but it is up to them how they do it."

Blatter added: "It can be a mixed team, it can be from just one of the home nations, whatever they want to do."

I have one comment for Mr Blatter, "Go boil your head and try to sort out the offside rule!"

Thank you to Little Man in a Toque for this banner!

Cricket made easy

2005-08-30T08:30:00.000Z

Here's a post for all of you cricket lovers who don't quite know the rules and are thirsty for knowledge......You think the news has too much coverage now with England going 2-1 up in the series with one test to go....well...look out because if England don't lose, We have the Ashes.

So here's the explanation:
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they're all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

I don't know why no one understands this game, it's so simple!

What would you have done?

2005-08-28T22:23:00.000Z

This story amazes me..........I know that all the proceeds are going to very worth while causes....But look at the image on the left...If you had the chance, would you pay a small fee to look over this replica of Nelson's flagship, HMS Victory?
A back up for future generations?

These donations would be an on going income for the cancer charities and local good causes.

Or would you prefer this..a one off donation?

Leave me a comment, tell Me what you think?
Check out the full story here....or go to the official HMS Victory website

If you're Happy

2005-08-25T22:00:00.000Z

I have so many things that I want to blog about, but I have writers block....well not really writers blog, it's not that I'm not motivated, I'm just lazy!

so.......

If you're happy and you know it, leave a comment,
If you're happy and you know it, leave a comment,
If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it,
If you're happy and you know it, leave a comment!

The Witanagemot club

2005-08-24T21:21:00.000Z

After finally getting around to the Comments on my posts which I hadn't quite caught up, I was amazed to see a blatant add which had nothing to do with anything I was blogging about.

Thanks for that Little Man in a Toque

Well curiosity got the better of me and I am so glad that it did....I have decided to sign up for this exclusive club...... I'll let you know how it goes.

See for yourselves!

If you were a movie, what would you be?

2005-08-23T11:42:00.000Z

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Am I an assassin, slowly wandering up the river looking for my victim, or am I drug enthused individual looking for danger and not a care in the world........YOU DECIDE!

If I could do it all over again......

2005-08-22T19:39:00.000Z

So, We are back from our trip.

Not the success we were hoping for but visiting all the family on the other side of the pond seemed to go down really well. I guess I'll find out properly when and if another invite is sent out to us!

The next time we take on a journey like this, someone please remind me to buy something from anywhere, from anyone to knock the kids out. Our little un never slept for 20 hours and when he's awake, I am awake. I was getting to the stage where I couldn't keep my eyes open, but he was happily playing and singing, not too bad you may think, but take a moment and think to yourself..........You are in the seats around us and at 4 am you keep hearing 30 renditions of the alphabet song, loud renditions as he had his headphones on and then tell me if you'd be happy!?

We get off the aircraft at Heathrow and now he decides it's sleep time, "Carry me" and now Daddy has to somehow, one handedly get all the heavy suitcases off the conveyer belt.......As Mommy and Sister were trying to get through immigration/passport control......Bloody foreigners!!!
Well I did manage to do it, where's there's a will there's a way and off to the car we went.
A friend of Julie's met us at the airport and I in my infinite wisdom decided to drive home on the right side of the road, for all of you not to familiar, that's the left and low and behold, what did I find....The M25 carpark was tailed back for 45 miles until our turn off....it took me 2 hours to drive this distance and then another 3 to get home.
Then everyone but me had a second wind!!!!

Anyway 3 days later and we are managing to fall asleep at 5am and waking up around lunch time...Perhaps I need a drink or 2?

Let's see now if I can keep this blogging up again as I so many good stories about the rest of the trip and some weird and wonderful ones at that!

Travelling again

2005-08-11T13:49:00.000Z

Hello peeps,

Just a quick note to all my friends........

We are off again visiting family.

This will probably be my last post until we reach home on August 20th.

Please be patient and come back.

Well when I say we are off, what I really mean is that from 9am this morning I have been ready to go, raring to get out of here and see the kids and back to the open country, but my wife is still sleeping at 1145am

What can one say

2005-08-08T18:32:00.000Z

It has come to my attention that a lot of people, my wife included, read my posts and instead of picturing me as an angel, they seem to think that I am sort sort of NUTTER! This is as far from the truth as possible.

I do have a weird sort of sarcastic humour, but I am really a gentleman.

I loved this story today, I am sure many husbands have always dreamed of doing this, personally I wouldn't......Could you imagine the aftermath, but it made me giggle!
He does have an excuse, as do we all, you have to love the Specialists!

This story is just wrong in so many ways, where's Buffy when you need her!

By the way, a big thankyou for all the people who vote for me on the Battle of the Blogs!
I will endeavour to make you proud one day and actually win a battle.....yeah right!

I see new blogs

2005-08-07T07:25:00.000Z

I have, in the past, put a few blogs on my blog as a direct click to where I wanna go........I have either lost their interest or have become boring as when I view their blogs, I am no longer there.

Now for the chance of a life time, one time only, read my posts, leave a comment and have a direct link right back to your blog as long as I appear in your favorites........Who's a winner...We are all winners!!!!!!

I see new blogs, I mention blogs, I even highlight them in red.......So go on, what have you to lose, just one more blog to browse every now and again.

How we met

2005-08-06T20:51:00.000Z

I have been searching for something to blog about for a while now, something which would require mental input and not just a quick copy and paste from a news article where someone has done all the hard work for me. My Darling Wife has posted a few lately and after Chickie made a comment about my profile, I decided it was time for my take on how Julie and I met......I hope Julie tells the same story one day as her grammar and writing style is much more entertaining than mine.

I stopped her and asked for her telephone number!

Ok, let me start at the beginning...................................

I was once a Police Officer based at a picturesque part of Cornwall near Newquay.
I'd been there for about 7 years and had divorced my 1st wife and so was a single Dad. My friends in the area had decided that this was not good enough for a great catch like me....lol... and they endeavoured to be my matchmakers.

I was quite interested in this lady who lived down the street from me, I had spoken to her once whilst she passed my home and was dumbstruck the next time I was in the same room as her. It was a Summer Fete and I was in the bar, keeping my mate, the bartender, company, when in walked Julie, her friend and baby. I did all I could to introduce myself but alas, they didn't even need help carrying a tray full of drinks.

My matchmakers had told me about another single parent who lived on our estate and they would organise BBQ's, parties and such to get us in the same vicinity, but this woman always declined or just never answered her phone. When I found out finally who it was, I was amazed to see she was the one and same girl I had seen before.

So, I decided to pluck up the courage and talk to her.....When this would happen, who knew as the English gentleman doesn't go round knocking on ladies doors and asking for dates, especially ladies who don't know us from Adam.

Then one cold day in September, I was stood at the control of entry post, doing my job, when who should be speeding towards me.......The lady in the silver toyota. I stopped her; the look on her face was none too welcoming as I told her roll down her window and hand me her ID.
I then proceeded to tell her who I was hoping for a form of recognition, nothing! Told her about my matchmakers and their attempts to get us together, nothing!

Now I was feeling extremely foolish and downright embarrassed, wishing the ground would just swallow me up, when she says that she is late for work, and in that moment she offers me her telephone number, obviously in an attempt to get to work and probably the wrong one anyway, but I took it.

It was a Friday, I was working a 12 hour shift and would get off work at 6pm, Julie finished hours ago, so at 5pm I called and to my amazement she answered and we talked alittle on HM time and expense; I told her how my Friday nights usually consisted of going to the local pub/club to work on my social skills, and would she be interested in meeting me there tonight.
Of course she said NO and we never ever met......NO, wait, that's not right.

I got up there early and was sat in the bar next door talking to my mate and had a great view of the walkway and door to the club. I thought I would stay in there until Julie walked past and then go in, buy her a drink, ask her to dance and have a great evening. Yeah right. Somehow or another I missed her, and at 11.30pm was getting ready to go home, when who should walk out of the club....Yes Julie and her entourage....shit.......There went my chance.....I said hello and she smiled back, ok, not too bad, then she called me over and I then tried to explain what I had been doing and why I hadn't bothered to go in earlier.......Anyway, she forgave me and I was allowed to call her and invited her to my home the very next day....Then she went away for a week and our first real date was The Navy Ball on October 13th, 2000.

The rest as they say is History!

Let's hope so this time

2005-08-01T13:50:00.000Z

From http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/4724599.stm

IRA statement in full

The IRA's full statement, in which its leadership ordered members to stop the armed campaign.

"The leadership of Oglaigh na hEireann has formally ordered an end to the armed campaign.

Watch the statement read by a former IRA prisonerThis will take effect from 4pm [1600 BST] this afternoon.

All IRA units have been ordered to dump arms.

All Volunteers have been instructed to assist the development of purely political and democratic programmes through exclusively peaceful means.

Volunteers must not engage in any other activities whatsoever.

The IRA leadership has also authorised our representative to engage with the IICD [Independent International Commission on Decommissioning] to complete the process to verifiably put its arms beyond use in a way which will further enhance public confidence and to conclude this as quickly as possible.

The outcome of our consultations show very strong support among IRA Volunteers for the Sinn Féin peace strategy We have invited two independent witnesses, from the Protestant and Catholic churches, to testify to this.
The Army Council took these decisions following an unprecedented internal discussion and consultation process with IRA units and Volunteers.

We appreciate the honest and forthright way in which the consultation process was carried out and the depth and content of the submissions.

We are proud of the comradely way in which this truly historic discussion was conducted. The outcome of our consultations show very strong support among IRA Volunteers for the Sinn Fein peace strategy.

There is also widespread concern about the failure of the two governments and the unionists to fully engage in the peace process.

We reiterate our view that the armed struggle was entirely legitimate. This has created real difficulties. The overwhelming majority of people in Ireland fully support this process.

They and friends of Irish unity throughout the world want to see the full implementation of the Good Friday Agreement.
Notwithstanding these difficulties our decisions have been taken to advance our republican and democratic objectives, including our goal of a united Ireland.
We believe there is now an alternative way to achieve this and to end British rule in our country. It is the responsibility of all Volunteers to show leadership, determination and courage.

We are very mindful of the sacrifices of our patriot dead, those who went to jail, Volunteers, their families and the wider republican base.

The IRA is fully committed to the goals of Irish unity and independence and to building the Republic outlined in the 1916 Proclamation We reiterate our view that the armed struggle was entirely legitimate. We are conscious that many people suffered in the conflict.

There is a compelling imperative on all sides to build a just and lasting peace. The issue of the defence of nationalist and republican communities has been raised with us.

There is a responsibility on society to ensure that there is no re-occurrence of the pogroms of 1969 and the early 1970s.

There is also a universal responsibility to tackle sectarianism in all its forms.

The IRA is fully committed to the goals of Irish unity and independence and to building the Republic outlined in the 1916 Proclamation.

We call for maximum unity and effort by Irish republicans everywhere. We are confident that by working together Irish republicans can achieve our objectives.
Every Volunteer is aware of the import of the decisions we have taken and all Oglaigh are compelled to fully comply with these orders.

There is now an unprecedented opportunity to utilise the considerable energy and goodwill which there is for the peace process.

This comprehensive series of unparalleled initiatives is our contribution to this and to the continued endeavours to bring about independence and unity for the people of Ireland. "

An Englishman in DC (well nearly)

2005-08-01T11:18:00.000Z

It's Me, back and posting. Well when I say "Back", I mean on the computer and not in good ole Blighty.

At this moment I am sat in a very nice hotel in a little place called Silver Springs, Maryland, and not pronounced Mary Land!!!

We have been to Iowa, Washington DC, Pennsylvania and now here. My luggage has been even further than Me and took a week's vacation to a few other ports of call without me, finally turning up a week later. This raises a few security issues and luggage traveling without passengers, but that's another post when I am awake.

I am now finally acclimatized to the humidity and am managing to sweat less, but what I gain in dry, sweatless shirts is soon made up for in lovely spilt coffee, chocolate and food stains on my clothes, some one send me a bib!

The extent of my site seeing in this town so far has been to see the shops en route to Starbucks, where as a regular customer, I am getting free and discounted Grande, triple shot Lattes or "The usual!" and the highways to and from Wal-mart. Thanks Honey!!! No seriously, I am not one for site seeing anyway and as we live in a White House, seen one, seen them all.

Anyone living close by, let us now and I'll get the coffee in.

The Mile High Club

2005-07-14T20:25:00.000Z

If anyone's interested at all, this blog will be very quiet for the next 5 weeks as we are off to see a little bit of North America (go north, turn left at Greenland, can't miss it).

I was going to mention how my Wife, bless her cotton socks, who loves to travel, is the worst traveller I have ever had the displeasure of coming across, but as we leave tomorrow and she will have access to a computer, I won't.

We should be back for the start of the Footie season, although again we will miss the final of Big Brother ...It's finally starting to get a little interesting, but I do get to see the In-Laws again, which is always fun.

I am finding it harder and harder to write a personal post as my wife reads them and the pit I dig myself just gets bigger. I have had to cut a lot off this post, cut the text or get my balls cut, as I haven't apparently grown a pair yet, what have I to lose.......ha ha ha Squeak!

Oh by the way, The Mile High Club is in Denver as Denver is 1 mile above sea level. I have been there and spent 12 very pleasant weeks there, cleaning, shopping....you smell like pooh!

I had better sign off and make sure my passport is still with the rest and has not been lost!

Was I not thinking!?

2005-07-13T20:41:00.000Z

Who's a thick twit, answers on a post card to "Scott's a thick twit".

There I am pining everyday for the one thing which would make my sorry white assed existence complete and it suddenly dawned on me.....POST A BLOG!

What if I could start a campaign to "Get Scott a motorcycle campaign" and use this media to grind my wife down into having to accept the inevitable and bow to the pressure of thousands of bloggers.

This Beauty, is very similar to the Triumph Trident 900, I had back in 1993.

I need everybody to leave a comment here, a sort of petition or you could pester my wife with comments too over at It's a Trip.

So what do you say, are you with me?

By the way, I want to be able to buy this bike......

No Surrender

2005-07-12T00:20:00.000Z

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
Sir Winston Churchill

The British throughout History have endured attacks from all nations, albeit The Romans, The Angles, The Saxons, the Vikings, and William the Conqueror (Who by the way lead the last Army to conquer this land back in 1066). Our Major cities were bombed relentlessly during the 2nd World War, but the stiff upper lip prevailed.

We have suffered Terrorist attacks from the IRA, PIRA, The Real IRA and even from our own people with the Luddites and the mayhem caused by the Witch hunts and the Civil War, but one thing is for certain, we have NEVER SURRENDERED and nor do we ever intend to. Too many innocent lives, Children, Sisters, Brothers, Mothers, sons and Fathers have been murdered in these malicious, cowardly attacks in this fair Isle. If we were to bow down now, what are we to tell the parents of these victims, Your Children died in vain......THINK AGAIN.

The phantom pooper

2005-07-11T23:07:00.000Z

wow, He says all teared up!
Am I good parent or not, you decide!

Went upstairs earlier to check on the kids and make sure they were in bed and asleep, to my surprise, the Little un (he's 3) was in bed, covered in his duvet, which he doesn't usually do and asleep!
As I was trying to sort out his duvet, I saw that he was naked. I felt the bed and it was dry, but I couldn't find the diaper I sent him to bed with anywhere!
Tried waking him up in a vain attempt to seek the truth, no go, so off I went on the hunt.
To my shock, amazement and pride, I found the dry diaper in the bathroom garbage bin, the toilet paper let out a little to much and a used paper towel and poo in the toilet bowl.
I went back to him, noticed his little butt was a little stained, so cleaned that up with a wet wipe and put a new diaper for the little sleepy head, covered him up and gave him a huge smacker on the cheek ( His face cheek, Mommy kisses the baby bongo's)

Now I know who the phantom pooper is, as when I was cleaning the house in preparation for the house sitter and cleaning the bathroom which no one uses, there was a un flushed deposit!

I hope he doesn't think he will be in trouble if he gets out of bed at night too poo or pee!

Tagged for 5 things....MEME

2005-07-06T19:24:00.000Z

I was tagged for this one by My Darling Wife, hope you enjoy!

What was I doing 10 years ago: Working as a Military Police Officer.
5 years ago: Working as a Military Police Officer
1 year ago: A house Husband and general dogsbody.
Yesterday: A House Husband and general dogsbody.
5 Snacks I enjoy: Bacon sarnies, cheese and branston sarnies, being fed peeled grapes, English chocolate and pork pies.
5 songs I know all the words to: Just 5? SKA, Punk, Indie, The Beatles, (and anything prior the 80's) and of course Robbie's Angels!
5 Things I would do with a $100 million: (Let the interest pay off the bills) Plastic surgery, a car for me, holiday for family, world peace and a romantic cruise for the wife and I
5 Locations I would like to run away to: The fishing lake, football on a Saturday afternoon, Mauritius, Seychelles and anywhere I am allowed to ride a fast, sports Motor cycle.
5 Bad habits I have: Putting new clothes in the dryer, preparing inedible meals, snoring (apparently!) sleeping and the worst one is waking up!
5 Things I like doing: Fishing, watching football, motorcycling, sleeping and waking up!
5 Things I would never wear: Another country's flag, any other club football shirt exept Argyle, any female clothes, speedo's to swim in nor a man skirt!
5 TV shows I like: Match of the Day, Most Haunted, Eastenders, Monty Python and any Football
5 Biggest joys of the moment: Watching my children grow and making choices for themselves, My DW and the way she is managing to overcome my inherited bad luck, Our garden, Plymouth Argyle and England.
5 Favourite toys: My mobile phone, the washing machine, the dryer, the AGA and the hoover!!!
5 next victims: Butchy, Sarcastic Kitty, Jessica, Chezzy and Kate

It's Coming Home

2005-07-05T19:25:00.000Z

Rejoice and be merry, the Football season is is coming. It seems like it's been years, how are we supposed to go all these weeks without the skill, the tribal enthusiam and the routine of watching our heroes go into foot to foot combat with the opposing team.
Again and for the 38th year running, I will be united with the Mighty Green Army as we support our Gladiators for another all too short and wet season.

Plymouth will be on our screens for their away match with Norwich at the start of the new campaign and I hope to be there absorbing the atmosphere and yelling the Greens on to a great victory.

I see we have signed Taribo West, a former AC and Inter Milan player who was being lined up to sign for the likes of 2 has been teams in Portsmouth and Liverpool. Liverpool can't even keep their Captain, and if he's leaving the sinking ship, who else will follow?

If you have a heart or an inclination, watch out every week for the Pilgrims progress and think of what the Green Army are going through!

Our football team will sporting a new green shirt this year, we have kept the same predominant colour for over 100 years, more than any other team in the Football League. I see Arsenal have succumbed to the French pussies and are now wearing a new shade of pink, it should suit their acrobatic ballerinas as they dive for the Premiership this year!

Back by popular demand

2005-07-01T10:29:00.000Z

Well, when I say "Popular demand" I mean 2 people, Sarcastic Kitty (not the alter ego) and My Sister-in-law, Jen's Horde, who actually thought she needed to call the emergency services as to the whereabouts of her favourite Brother-in-law!

So where have I been?

This International Man of mystery has managed the impossible, he has not only single handedly taken a an unkept English country garden lawn and ensured it resembles a lush shag pile carpet, he has proven the old adage that "The grass is always greener on the other side", whilst also developing an amazing tan. He has taken a step in the right direction for the consumer against corporate monopolisation of SKY television, within the British Broadcasting industry, developed a safe, humanitarian mosquito repellent for my family, put an end to starvation, refused Live8 tickets in Edinburgh for the benefit of fellow man and made in roads into International relations and have aided the regions water shortage due to the drought!

Wow, that is impressive even for me!

In laymans terms..............................

this all means the following:

I cut the grass, indeed it is very short now, lowest setting a petrol driven hand pushed model can go. It was so hot that whilst cutting the grass there was no moisture around and immediately afterward the grass turned brown on the tennis court, whilst the lush green carpet of the front lawn, regained all it's splendour.
It was so hot that I managed to get a great tan and am fortunate enough not to have burnt!

We have had a few thunderstorms in this area lately and on Monday night/morning we lost only form of entertainment, our 600 channel satellite system. I called SKY the very next day after I found there was no way of avoiding talking to rest of the family and was told that we may be lucky and get an engineer around by Wednesday week, at this moment, my Wife, realising that I only have so much conversation capable to me, grabbed the phone and had a rather pleasant("Â£$%^&*) conversation with the supervisor. (I am surprised we still have a contract). By the end of last evening after having played the 3rd game of Monopoly in 2 days, I had to try.....I re-connected all the cables, plugs and switched the system on, to my joy and excitement, we had SKY! Not only did we have SKY downstairs, but the system which had beenobsoletee in our bedroom for 6 months worked too!!

My Family and I have discovered that if we venture into the Garden to enjoy the landscape during the evening, that we have in our midst, the perfect mosquitorepellentt.....IT'S ME! Whilst they were all playing, enjoying swinging and climbing the trees, doing a spot ofarchaeologyy not one mosquito took a nibble of them, me on the other hand, that's a different story, every mosquito in the Northern hemisphere made a bee line to me and I have the lumps to prove it!!!

I managed to fit a truly wonderful experience into the past week to, my weekly visit to the Commissary. Oh how I hate shopping for anything, especially food...."We don't like that, you bought too much of that, why didn't you but more and did you check the expiration dates on everything?"

I really did refuse tickets to Live8 in Edinburgh...Myy wife's work colleague had gotten hold 2 tickets and was unable to attend as she also had tickets to Hyde Park, so gave us 1st refusal, which we duly did! We couldn't get a baby sitter, my wife had no time off work and I have no friends!

On Monday morning and again on Thursday afternoon I made the return trip to Stanstead airport for a friend of ours, who happens to be a Yank and who was attending a conference in Germany, I should become a Diplomat

Water shortages, well let's just say that my idea of becoming the new Bob Geldof and finding a mosquitorepellentt at the same time for me, didn't work and a bath was had today, after which there was much rejoicing!!

We are due to fly to the States in July, so if George needs anything sorted, let him know I am coming!

Just popped in to say Popups out

2005-06-16T20:40:00.000Z

OK, I have finally discovered which links were generating pop ups and I have dealt them with accordingly, they are now deep in cyberspace along with all the news and artifacts from yesteryear!

Talking of yesteryear, well, I spelt it, so I am really, I want to start a campaign to get the Church of the Latter Day Saints
to increase their expenditure on the British genealogy side of things. In the States you can find everything documented from the first settlers to the Irish immigration and on. Well it was our ships and records initially, I suppose that's why.
Here we are lucky if we can go any further back that 1810.

Ok, we were bombed in the 2nd World war for near on 6 years, yes it actually lasted that long 1939 - 1945, so a lot of our records went up in the fires. There must be records somewhere else......I mean, if Malachi and Nostradamus could foresee the Popes and the coming of Hitler and that maybe just 1 of the 9 million persecuted witches, under tortured because they drank herbal tea could have foretold the records being lost, then the inquisition could have written it down!
Perhaps that is what happened, they did write these catastrophes down and the records were put in a safe place, you know, just like the car keys and passports...."But I left them on the table not 5 minutes ago"!

anyway, what was I saying, oh yes, More money to the English genealogy people!

A funny thing happened on the way to the ComMISERY, (my pronunciation) today, I don't know where, but somewhere I hope!

Schools out for Summer and I get to be recreations officer for 6 weeks. I also get and this is the most important thing about school out, I also get Lay -ins! I thought it was never coming, 6 am every Monday - Friday, 18 hours is a long day for any person, let alone a man! So now, whilst my DW is asleep, My daughter and I have hatched a plan, she gets up at silly o'clock every morning anyway, be it school or not, she will now take care of the Little un until Daddy wakes up.
As long as we plan it so that Mommy wakes up after, we are in the clear! Just hope my DW has gotten bored with the post way before this sentence.

Stonehenge looks a no-go for us this year, personal reasons with which I agree fully and have no qualms about, there hasn't been a clear night for 5 years now, so I am sure there won't be one this Monday night/ Tuesday morning either as we are not that lucky in this country with the weather. Somebody mentions outdoor party or BBQ and that's that, the end of summer. We would have missed the Solar Eclipse in this country if it hadn't gone dark!

My DW has just posted about Google so I thought I would have a go to......

The paddock at the end of our garden has lots of different SEX animals, they have the COCK, pigs with sagging NIPPLES and hens who are LAYING all the time. There will be a SILENCE OF THE LAMBS soon as it's feasting time, so our PUSSY cats will no doubt be into VOYEURISM at that time as will I.

It's Official....I'm could be clinically MAD!?

2005-06-15T10:13:00.000Z

Well what a fun packed week so far and it's only Wednesday!

After Sundays shenanigans, you know, 12 hours sleep the night before and allegedly a really nice guy, 3 posts, 3 meals prepared, kids bathed and smiling........Yes, it was supposedly me but I am still awaiting the photographic evidence.....Anyway, Monday........

Same old routine...No...Not today, drove our Daughter to school equipped with dirt pie and 2 litres of soda...Some school party.
Bored with this diary now......Need another quiz!

Oh yes, Doctors yesterday for some happy pills.....I never got them....I think he didn't realise I was joking, you know

Doc says: "How are you feeling?"
Me says: "Fffffffine" with my best impression of a facial tic and whole body movement, ala Monty Python scene in the jail for "Holy Grail"

and then when I said that I heard voices....Living in a 13th Century Farmhouse you are likely to hear voices, if not of the past residents, ie the people, cows, dogs, rats, pigs....And now, my family from every direction..."Dad", .....
anyhow, he's referred me to the nice man upstairs with the white coat....I am sure that when I tell him the only voices I hear are in my head and telling Me to kill the sarcasm, all will be fine!

I hope the shrink has a sense of humour or I am in trouble!!!

This morning I've already got the kids off to school, emptied the dishwasher and put all the contents away, washed and dried the laundry, fed the animals, hoovered everywhere but where the Lady of the house was fast asleep, watched the Lions win in New Zealand and the best one of all, I did some gardening, well........

As we have a large garden which is prone to weeds...This morning, with the sun shining and rain looking very unlikely...I thought oh well, weed killer.
Read the directions...40ml to 5 litres of water for 20m2....But ensure there is no possibility of rain for at least 12 hours, well.....I emptied 2 bottles of weed killer in my endeavours and covered every weed and root in the worse grown up areas.....Just as I was finished...IT RAINED and it hasn't bloody stopped....The neighbours must've thought I was mad....shit! Hope they don't have their say as I am incarcerated.

If you have read this far, I'm sorry, I am bored too!!!
quiz time!

This one as it says

2005-06-12T14:33:00.000Z

This one I can relate to and have no qualms about posting!

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

Paganism

83%

Buddhism

79%

Satanism

75%

Islam

58%

Judaism

58%

Hinduism

50%

agnosticism

46%

atheism

42%

Christianity

21%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

It's Mythical, Honestly!

2005-06-12T13:13:00.000Z

I if'd and am'd about this post for a long time, but the picture was really good!

In the UK this word has a few other meanings, similar to FAG in the USA, but my wife assures me that I am no Fairy, other than a Mythical Creature from a quiz!

You scored as Faerie. Faerie: Aren't you a cute little flying person? Faeries are earth spirits. They live among each element completely hidden. They have cousins called Pixies. Pixies however, are very mischevious. They enjoy tormenting other creatures for fun. Little pranksters.. I hope you never meet one. Pixies have a bad reputation for finding a creature and clinging to them until death. Faeries can be somewhat close to a Pixie, but mostly they are loving, playful, and carry with them a child-like enthusiasm for life. Hide among the pedals of a Daisy, you are a Faerie.

Angel

92%

Faerie

92%

Mermaid

75%

WereWolf

25%

Dragon

17%

Demon

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

Give me back the bags under my eyes!

2005-06-12T08:50:00.000Z

I knew I had been tired lately, you know the male version of PMT, making bitchy and sarcastic comments to all and sundry. What I didn't realise was just how tired.

After we had finished the fine Beef hot pot I had lovingly, ok, prepared, I sat down on the couch with my DW and kids, we were watching some crap or other on the TV and I kept getting these pokes in my side and my daughter laughing. Turns out that I kept falling asleep and my DW was kicking me.

Now Meg Ryan always keeps me awake, but not last night, in an effort to stop me dozing off, it was "City Of Angels". 5 mins into the movie and that kick was felt again, so I took the Little un upstairs, helped him brush his teeth, put him into bed, talked for a while and then went into our adjoining room and laid down......This was at 8pm......

Next thing I know my wife, who had missed kicking me, was putting me under the covers and telling me it was the middle of the night and to go back to sleep, which I promptly did. She never woke me to ask if I had brushed my teeth!

7am this morning I awoke, thinking it was still the evening before as we are in the midst of British Summer time and it stays light here until 10pm, only to find everyone downstairs, wife on the couch, comotoased and the children watching a movie. Seeing this scene, it could well have been the night before and I had the perfect opportunity to give my wife her come uppance......No I didn't, hence I am still here, alive and posting.

I made the kids some breakfast, cinnamon rolls and then played a few games, you know, the usual stuff, Power Rangers, beat the babies!!!

I then, after copious amounts of coffee, looked in the mirror.....To my shock, my bags under the old tired eyes had gone....Wow, there could be a career in the movies or the glamour industry for me afterall.....Or am I still sleeping!!!!

The New Empire emerges

2005-06-10T22:09:00.000Z

It's happened, the English are coming to gain our European supremacy again, hitting the rest of Europe on 7 fronts. Not only do we hold the Presidency of both the European Commission and the EU, we are boasting Liverpool as the proud Champions of Europe.

Now UEFA have unanimously agreed to allow them to enter nexts years campaign as well. This means that the rest of europe will see at 1st hand the superior footballing skills displayed by the English Premier League.

That's 5 (five, V) sets of English supporters holidaying all over resorts every couple of weeks......oh how I dream of the day I will be there with my green and white scarf, English Flag and the Green Army, chanting "One more for the Argyle".

I'll be bloggered!!

2005-06-09T21:35:00.000Z

I set a new personal record this morning for mowing the lawn.....because God has been pissing all over England lately, then just when you think there will be a break, he/she must shake! Now that doesn't make sense, do women shake? Anyway, I'm digressing, so we have had a lot of rain lately, in between the downfalls I have tried to mow our modest garden so the kids can see the dog shit before they stand in it. It has been taking me 4 hours just to mow one lawn, but TODAY, June 09, 2005, it took me, wait for it......3 hours to mow the whole bloody garden.......I don't know if I was more impressed with the time or the fact that I hadn't keeled over and had an heart attack!

Am I sore? You bet your pretty arse I am sore, My shoulders and arms are aching and my hands didn't stop vibrating for about 40 minutes afterwards. WHO cares? I hear you mutter, YOU may not, I may also have dug my own grave, done a bad thing, now my wife knows it can be done, but I care, perhaps I can take that garden break soon and enjoy the garden for what it is, our oasis, instead of looking out of the window and putting off the inevitable!

What else happened today? Well I managed to get out of bed before 0630hrs and take our daughter to the bus stop for her hour long journey to school. I came back and got the little un dressed and ready for the creche, well Mommy had to help and coax him as he told us that he had no shoes to wear, little bugger....When we got in the car we were having our little customary insulting match...He's 3 by the way, and then he was fine, ran into the "little school", put his backpack away and was a happy little soul until Daddy, in his infinite wisdom, yes I do have some, well sometimes, there was this one time.....I'm digressing again....knelt down to give him a hug and tell him that I loved him, at which point he started crying and wanted to come home. Thankfully the assistants there managed to crow bar him away from me and I made a tactical, hasty departure.

Home and the mowing record, before picking little un up again at noon and off for his staple diet of McDonalds, it's the toys he wants, honestly, he doesn't eat anything but healthy food usually, you know the sort of thing, corn dogs, chicken nuggets, sweets/candy and anything with chocolate!

We had a couple of hours of playing in the garden, no shit on the shoes :) and off to pick up big sister, she's 10. After big sis's obligatory 30mins gymnastics practice and display in the newly mown garden, it was for the family to have dinner, tuna pasta was on offer tonight, so little un had garlic bread, then the kids bathed, brushed their teeth and were both in bed asleep by 9pm....

It's now 2300hrs......it's what time, what have you been doing for the past 2 hours......umm.......Looking for something to post...Couldn't find anything so I won't bother tonight!

Kindred Spirits & CARPE DIEM, TOMORROW!

2005-06-07T22:14:00.000Z

What can I say?

I've been the topic of a post, what's more it's the first, family notwithstanding, from a fellow blogger whom I've only recently posted a comment on and vice-versa.

I'm really lost for words and judging by my blog power, that's not too hard , steady!

To see this post please go to "Take Another Piece of my Heart........ "
and look under "Kindred Spirits & CARPE DIEM, TOMORROW!"

and to you "Butchy", my most heartfelt thanks.

The Summer Solstice

2005-06-05T18:32:00.000Z

stonehenge
Originally uploaded by carpe diem tomorrow.

As the sun spirals its longest dance,
Cleanse us
As nature shows bounty and fertility
Bless us
Let all things live with loving intent
And to fulfill their truest destiny

Taken from a Wiccan blessing for Summer

Solstice, Midsummer or Litha means a stopping or standing still of the sun. It is the longest day of the year and the time when the sun is at its maximum elevation.

This date has had spiritual significance for thousands of years as humans have been amazed by the great power of the sun. The Celts celebrated with bonfires that would add to the sun’s energy, Christians placed the feast of St John the Baptist towards the end of June and it is also the festival of Li, the Chinese Goddess of light.

Like other religious groups, Pagans are in awe of the incredible strength of the sun and the divine powers that create life. For Pagans this spoke in the Wheel of the Year is a significant point. The Goddess took over the earth from the horned God at the beginning of spring and she is now at the height of her power and fertility. For some Pagans the Summer Solstice marks the marriage of the God and Goddess and see their union as the force that creates the harvest’s fruits.

This is a time to celebrate growth and life but for Pagans, who see balance in the world and are deeply aware of the ongoing shifting of the seasons it is also time to acknowledge that the sun will now begin to decline once more towards winter.

When celebrating midsummer Pagans draw on diverse traditions. In England thousands of Pagans and non-Pagans go to places of ancient religious sites such as Stonehenge and Avebury to see the sun rising on the first morning of summer. Many more Pagans hold small ceremonies in open spaces, everywhere from gardens to woodlands.

Will you be there?

STOLEN from the BBC

The Death Clock

2005-06-04T22:38:00.000Z

I have just come across this interesting site whilst doing the obligatory surfing for a posting of some depth!!! (refer to earlier post)

I now know my Personal Day of Death is... Thursday, October 31, 2052

I find this a little to my relief as I am supposed to die at the age of 58 and from suicide (previous posts) but this one puts me at 84 years of age!!!

You can also find out the following:

Find out how famous people died including Jill dando, James Dean and Lady Di

Postpone your day of death

Counteract doomsday

Causes of death

England and The English

2005-06-04T20:34:00.000Z

Oh how I would love to take the praise for this, but alas, I have to give credit elsewhere.....

England and the English

Beyond the Pillars of Hercules, they do things inversely and, perpetually appearing to dig their own graves, by some means erect world-beheld monuments—an example, however, not to be followed by less confident peoples.

Speech to the Royal Society of St. George given by Rudyard Kipling: April 1920

I THINK this is an occasion on which it behoves us all to walk rather circumspectly. If you will let me, I will try and tell you why. About sixteen hundred years ago, when Rome was mistress of the world and the Picts and the Scots lived on the other side of the Wall that ran from Newcastle to Carlisle, the story goes that Rome allowed all those peoples one night in the year in which they could say aloud exactly what they thought of Rome, without fear of the consequences. So then, on that one night of the year, they would creep out of the heather in droves and light their little wandering fires and criticise their Libyan Generals and their Roman Pontiffs and the Eastern camp followers, who looked down on them from the top of the great high unbreakable Roman Wall sixteen hundred years ago.
To-day, Imperial Rome is dead. The Wall is down and the Picts and the Scots are on this side of it, but thanks to our Royal Society of St. George, there still remains one night in the year when the English can creep out of their hiding-places and whisper to each other exactly what we think about ourselves. No, it is not quite safe to criticise our masters—our masters who tax us and educate us, and try us, and minister so abundantly to what they instruct us our wants ought to be. Since these masters of ours have not yet quite the old untroubled assurance of power and knowledge that made Rome so tolerant in the days when the Picts and the Scots lived on the other side of the Wall, we will confine ourselves to our own popular and widely recognised defects.
Some of our severest critics, who, of course, are of our own household, have said that there never was such a thing as the English Race—that it is at best the intolerably insolent outcome of ancient invasions and immigrations, freshened with more recent Continental gaol-deliveries. Far be it from me to traverse such statements. I give them on no less authority than that of the late Mr. Daniel Defoe, Liveryman of the City of London, author of Robinson Crusoe and of a pamphlet called The True-born Englishman. He deals very faithfully with the English. So faithfully that, in deference to the susceptibilities of some races, I will not give his version of the Englishman’s pedigree, but in his summing up of the true-born Englishman, Defoe says:
A true-born Englishman’s a contradiction,In speech an irony, in fact a fiction,A metaphor intended to expressA man akin to all the Universe.
In that last line it seems to me that Defoe slips into a blessing where he meant to curse, because a man “akin to all the Universe” cannot be wholly lost. He must have some points of contact with humanity. And the Englishman has had several.
The Phoenicians taught him the rudiments of shopkeeping; the Romans taught him love of sport by hiring him to fight wild beasts in their arenas. Under the Heptarchy he studied Social Reform, which in those unenlightened days consisted of raising levies on capital in order to buy off the Heathen of the North from taking direct action against English industries. He next took a three-hundred-years’ course of colloquial and Law French under eminent Norman teachers. He did not learn that language then or since, but it left him with a profound respect, based on experience, for his neighbours across the Channel, and a conviction, which time has deepened, that they were the only other people in the world who mattered.
For five hundred years his affairs, domestic and foreign, were controlled by French, Italian, Spanish, with occasional Austrian, politico-ecclesiastical authorities, who tried to teach him that “this realm of England” was but part of a vast international organisation destined to embrace, protect, and instruct all mankind. He escaped from those embraces only to find himself subjected to the full rigours of the Puritan Conscience, which at that time was largely directed by gentle men from Geneva, Leyden, Amsterdam, and the Low Countries. While thus engaged he was, under pretext of union, finally and fatally subjugated by the Scot. A few years later he embarked on the swelling tide of party politics in all their attendant purity; since which he has seldom been allowed to look back, and never forward.
I submit that such a nightmare of national experiences would have driven an unmixed race to the edge of lunacy. But the Englishman is like a built-up gun barrel, all one temper though welded of many different materials, and he has strong powers of resistance. Roman, Dane, Norman, Papist, Cromwellian, Stuart, Hollander, Hanoverian, Upper Class, Middle Class, Democracy, each in turn through a thousand years experimented on him and tried to make him to their own liking. He met them each in turn with a large silent toleration, which each in turn mistook for native stupidity. He gave them each in turn a fair trial and, when he had finished with them, an equally fair dismissal. As an additional safeguard he devised for himself a social system in watertight compartments, so arranged that neither the waters of popular emotion nor the fires of private revenge could sweep his ship of State from end to end. If, in spite of this, the domestic situation became too much for him he could always take a ship and go to sea, and there seek or impose the peace which the Papal Legate, or the Mediaeval Trade Union, or a profligate Chancellor of the Exchequer denied to him at home. And thus, gentlemen—not in a fit of absence of mind—was the Empire born. It was the outcome of the relaxations of persecuted specialists—men who for one cause or another were unfit for the rough and tumble of life at home. They did it for change and rest, exactly as we used to take our summer holidays, and, like ourselves, they took their national habits with them. For example, they did not often gather together with harps and rebecks to celebrate their national glories, or to hymn their national heroes. When they did not take them both for granted, they, like ourselves, generally denied the one and did their best to impeach the other. But, by some mysterious rule-of-thumb magic, they did establish and maintain reasonable security and peace among simple folk in very many parts of the world, and that, too, without overmuch murder, robbery, oppression, or torture.
One secret of the success of the English was, perhaps, their imperturbable tolerance. A race that has been persecuted, or—what comes to the same thing—bored, by every persecuted refugee to whom they have ever given an asylum, naturally learns to tolerate anything. Their immensely mixed origin, too, made the English in a very real sense “akin to all the universe”, and sympathetic in their dumb way with remote Gods and strange people. Above all, their long insular experience of imported brain-storms had taught them that men should not try to do better than good for fear lest worse than bad might follow. And there has been enough of worse than bad in the world for the last few years. Our national weakness for keeping to the easiest road to the latest possible minute sooner than inconvenience ourselves or our neighbours has been visited upon us full tale. After ninety-nine years of peace the English were given ninety-six hours in which to choose whether they would buy a little longer peace from the Heathen of the North, as some of their ancestors had done, or whether they would make peace with them as our King Alfred made it with the Danes. It was a race that had almost forgotten how to say “No” to anybody who said “Yes” in a sufficiently loud voice. It seemed as if it had quite forgotten that it had broken a Church, killed a King, closed a Protectorate and exiled another King, sooner than be driven where it did not want to go. But when its hour came, once again it decided to go its own way, and once again by instinct. For it had prepared nothing—it had foreseen nothing. It had been assured that not only was there no need for preparation against war, but that the mere thought of preparation against war was absurd where it was not criminal. Therefore, through the first two years of the war, it was necessary to throw up a barricade of the dead bodies of the nation’s youth behind which the most elementary preparations could be begun.
There has been no such slaughter of the English in English history, but the actual war was no more than a large-scale repetition of previous national experiences. If an Elizabethan Statesman (or adventurer) could have returned to England during the war he would, I think, in a very short time have been able to pick up his office work almost where he dropped it. His reports and his maps would have been a little more detailed, but he would have been surprisingly abreast of the whole situation.
Where the old English influence had struck deep all the world over, he would have seen help and comfort hurried up to all the fronts from all the world over without count or tale, without word or bond to limit or confirm it. Where the old alien influences that he knew so well had persisted, or where the new influences directed by the old were at work, he would have seen, as he would have expected, all help for the war denied, withheld, or doled out grudgingly, piecemeal at a high price. He would have recognised that what held firm in the days of the Armada held firm at Armageddon: that what had broken beneath his hand then was rotten in our hand now. Bar a few minor differences of equipment, he would have felt just like any sailor or soldier returning to some bitterly familiar job of sea-patrol or trench life between ’14 and ’18. Like those men he would have taken for granted a great deal upon which other nations might have wasted valuable thought and attention. Our stories of Coronel and Zeebrugge, of the English county battalions not one year old that died to the last man as a matter of routine on the fronts that they were ordered to hold, would have moved him no more and no less than the little affair of Sir Richard Grenville off Flores, in the Revenge. That troopers of County Yeomanry in Mesopotamia, picked almost at random, could, single-handed and by sheer force of character, control and conciliate in a few days a turbulent Arab village, would have amazed him no more and no less than any tale of Panama, or of our first venture across the world, told him by Sir Francis Drake or any forgotten captain of the same age. Being of the breed he would have known the breed and would have taken the work of the breed for granted.
And herein, as I see it, lies the strength of the English—that they have behind them this continuity of immensely varied race-experience and race-memory, running equally through all classes back to the very dawn of our dawn. This imposes on them unconsciously, even while they deny or deride it, standards of achievement and comparison, hard perhaps, and perhaps a little unsympathetic, but not low—not low—and, as all earth is witness, not easily to be lowered. And that is the reason why in the things nearest our hearts we praise so little and criticise so lavishly. It is the only compliment which an Englishman dare pay to his country.
As you know, our standards of achievement and comparison do not appear on the surface; nor are they much in men’s mouths. When they are, they are mostly translated into terms of sport or the slang of our various games. But whenever the English deal in earnest with each other, or with the outside world, those standards are taken for granted. And it is by the things that we take for granted without word that we live. It was taken for granted during the war that every day was St. George’s Day, on one or other of our seven fronts.
And now, we and our kin, after these great years, are sick, dizzy, and shaken—like all convalescents, a little inclined to pity ourselves, a little inclined to stay as long as possible on a diet of invalid slops, and a little more than inclined to mistake the hysteria of convalescence for the symptoms of returning life and thought. Here also instinct tells us that the weight, the range, and the evenly spread richness of our national past should ballast us sufficiently to navigate through whatever storms—or brain-storms—there may be ahead. And we are threatened with several.
One school of thought, Muscovite in origin, holds, as the Danes held twelve hundred years ago, that rapine and scientific torture will elevate our ideals, which up to the present have merely taught us to try to do our duty to our God and our neighbour. Others are content to work for the organised bankruptcy of whatsoever is of good repute, including the systematic betrayal of our friends, very much on the same lines as some people used to panic after every Crusade and every visitation of the plague. We are further promised an unparalleled outbreak of education, guaranteed to produce a standardised State-aided mind. The Church evolved almost a parallel system in the Middle Ages, which, much to her surprise, produced the Reformation.
Lastly, lest we should ever again lapse into our “pathetic contentment”, the breed which organised at a week’s notice to achieve the impossible and achieved it—by earth, sea, and air achieved it—is now, as a reward, to be ruthlessly reorganised in every detail of its life, walk, and conduct. That great work was begun by William the Conquerer, Anno Domini 1066, and has been before Committee or Commission ever since.
Norman, Papist, Cromwellian, Stuart, Hollander, Hanoverian, Upper Class, Middle Class, Democracy, have each in turn tried their fleeting hand on the “man akin to all the Universe”. From each in turn he has taken what he wanted; to each in turn he has given a fair trial; and, when he has quite finished, an equally fair dismissal.
What will he do in the future?. We are too near to the dust of the main battle to see clearly. We know that England is crippled by the loss and wastage of a whole generation, and that her position, from the civil point of view to-day, is the position of our armies in the darkest days of the war. That is to say, all leave is stopped for any man who can manage to stand up to his job, no matter how sick or stale he may feel himself to be, and there is undreamed-of promotion for untried men who, simply because they are not dead, will now have to face heavier responsibility, longer hours, and criticism that certainly will not grow milder as the years pass. But no miracles have occurred.
This world of ours, which some of us in their zeal to do better than good have helped to create, but which we must all inherit, is not a new world, but the old world grown harder. The wheel has come full circle. The whole weight of the world at the present moment lies again, as it used to lie in the time of our fathers, on the necks of two nations, England and France. The sole force under God’s good Providence that can meet this turn of our fate, is not temperament, not opportunism, nor any effort to do better than good, but character and again character—such mere ingrained, common-sense, hand-hammered, loyal strength of character as one humbly dares to hope that fifteen hundred years of equality of experience have given us.
If this hope be true—and because we know the breed in our hearts we know that it is true—if this hope be justified, our children’s children, looking back through the luminous years to where we here stumble and falter, will say to themselves: “Was it possible—was it possible that the English of that age did not know, could not see, dared not even guess, to what height of strength, wisdom, and enduring honour they had lifted their land?”
But we will be circumspect! My lords, ladies and gentlemen—for what there is of it—for such as it is—and for what it may be worth—will you drink to England and the English?

Rudyard Kipling
XVIEngland and the English

I need to stop this

2005-06-04T18:49:00.000Z

Star Wars Horoscope for Sagittarius

You are superbly wise and have been known to spread your wisdom widely.
You are impatient and pushy when people take your teachings too lightly.
And your philosophical side always peeks through.

Star wars character you are most like: Yoda

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Blogging in the real world

2005-06-04T12:17:00.000Z

Ok, all this time blogging, I have managed to lose sight of that, which I set out to do.
I wanted to keep a running journal of things which make me laugh and really piss me off. All I seem to manage to do, is find that quirky quiz or fun website and post that.

Lack of time, this I put down to the speed my grass grows and the ease at which I can be side tracked have really been a major contributor to this.

Now is the time to write something informative, bitchy, news related, etc:

The problem is, looking for a post of relevance, will sidetrack me again and before I know it, I will be called upon to carry out another task, so what can I do.......I could stay up all night when it's really quiet and look for that fantastic story, but I would be too tired to post.

I could wake up really early and still be too tired.

Ah ha, why don't I just lock the office door and pretend I am not here.....NO! I don't want to feel the Wrath of my DW!

Hire a professional blogger or journalist..........You twit, it's my blog!

Get a dictaphone, upgrade the software and voila.....Yes, I can really see that happening, I have just enough computer savvy to find my web page!

Look at the time, well, I nearly made a post of some sense, maybe later when the time doesn't run away from me.

I am Arthur!

2005-06-04T12:03:00.000Z

Oh, c'mon, was there any real doubt in anybody's mind?!

Take the quiz: "Which Holy Grail Character Are You?"

Arthur, King of the Britons

Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!

The one to save us all

2005-06-03T00:18:00.000Z

It's a fact......Nothing can stop the Green Army from going all the way into Europe for 2007.

20 years to go!

2005-06-02T12:23:00.000Z

My "Wild Lifestyle!?"

Well, for anyone who knows me at all, they will find that comment very amusing indeed.

You Will Die at Age 58

58 Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyleWant to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What age will you die?

Back to the good ole days

2005-06-02T12:11:00.000Z

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am Feather Catwitch

2005-05-30T21:32:00.000Z

Find out your Fairy Name

Thanks to " In the Land of Faerie "

Our House

2005-05-29T21:08:00.000Z

My darling wife has taken a few photos of our house and gardens in all their splendor.

If you are interested then please visit her blog and be sure to mention all the hard work her husband must have put in, to make the garden look so nice!!

Amkeli's World

My Wife takes full credit for the interior and she'll probably tell you that her nagging takes the credit for the exterior to........She could be Right!

C'mon England

2005-05-28T22:30:00.000Z

Did we ever have any doubts that a 3rd rate England team would overcome the minnows of USA. No, of course not.

2 first half goals from the debutant Kieran Richardson and the USA didn't know what had hit them

It was one of those games where after the first 10 mins, you just couldn't see us losing and that's how it turned out, even when we lost Sol Campbell (transpires he like Peter Crouch in training went over on his ankle in the first 3 mins) at half time and then the boy wonder not long into the 2nd half (tight hamstring).

One thing I cannot quite understand, is how a country, with the money that the USA has, it has no National Football stadium and relys on hiring out NFL venues which have the wrong dimensions for a football field.

The pitch at Soldiers Field was too narrow and too short, not only that, the condition was something like you would find Sunday League match behind the pub!

Why oh why?

2005-05-28T13:15:00.000Z

Looking forward to the match tonight?

I have just looked up the English FA home page and have realised that we have sent one of the weakest squads ever for a friendly.

I know that I am not alone when I say that as a passionate England fan and Patriot, I do not want to see my country lose at anything, especially football.

My wife ia an American, she has just come to terms with the fact we Kick a football with our Feet and that we pass the Rugby ball backwards.

How do I explain to her that we have sent a 3rd squad to the States, to play an aleedged friendly in the backyard of a city which has 6 million Irish Immigrants who think they are stiil Irish?

You lucky, lucky B**tard

2005-05-28T10:56:00.000Z

You lucky, lucky B**tard

Somethings in life are sad, they can really make you mad.....yes, Eric Idle's full song

Now I have woken up this morning with my wicked side......should I be controversial, should I be plain nice, sarcastic or tell the world about my lovely mother!!!

I could upset all the Christians with their meaningless religious celebrations and enforce the believe that they, like the rest of the world are really celebrating Pagan festivals and that Jesus was a father and died happily in France.

What about, I love you all and you are all invited to our garden party!

The USA take on an England C team tonight, without the likes of Rooney, Ferdinand, Gerrard etc, so it should be an even game.

Or how my Darling Mother has been so nice to me and my wife lately and wants to fight us in court for the custody of my son!

No, none of that.....Today I want to blog about

Big Brother

The new show started last night and this year there seem to be more freaks than ever before. There was I just about to rant and rave about the boy who turned up in a sari, yes a dress... The so called White Witch and the naughty nurse, when I came across this blog...... I have never

All the details you need are there! Thanks Dick

Saturday's Shampoo

2005-05-27T22:22:00.000Z

Saturday's Shampoo

Lather: Tell about one time you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe. Who were you with? What were you laughing about?

I never laugh!

Rinse: What's the last book you couldn't put down? Why?

Being the avid reader I am (uh hum), it would be the last book. Any book I get within the last 50 pages of the night before is the book I cannot put down the next day.

Repeat: What website, blog, online game, etc have you spent the most time on this week? Share the URL with the rest of us!

That's mine, I have not been posting much at all as I am trying to jazz it up and losing horribly.

A House Husbands Lot

Friday's Feast

2005-05-27T22:03:00.000Z

Friday's Feast - a buffet for your brain

Appetizer: What job would you definitely not want to have?
I would never, ever want to be employed as a Kamikaze pilot, there's just no future in it!

Soup: Oprah calls and wants you to appear on her show. What would that day's show be about?

It would be all about men who have left their own careers and taken the gender benders career as a House Husband

Salad: Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis.
Potatoes, sweetcorn and onions

Main Course: If you were commissioned to rename your hometown, what would you call it?
I would never rename my hometown as it has too much history and is known all over the world, PLYMOUTH, England

Dessert: If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would you have them to do?
My personal assistant would change the bed sheets, vacuum upstairs, wash the kitchen floor, make lunch and dinner, train the dog and weed the garden!

SH*T, F**K, CR*P

2005-05-25T22:37:00.000Z

Oh well, Que sera!!

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Suicide

93%

Gunshot

73%

Posion

67%

Natural Causes

47%

Suffocated

33%

Stabbed

33%

Bomb

33%

Cut Throat

27%

Eaten

20%

Disease

20%

Disappear

13%

Drowning

13%

Accident

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

They come in 3's

2005-05-22T19:23:00.000Z

It's a three meme...If you are tagged you MUST fill out the three meme on your blog. (Jen tagged me with this one.)

3 names I go by: Dad, Scott and Jackass

3 screen-names I've had: A house husband, True Janner and Celtic Heart

3 physical things I dislike about myself: My size, My Stance and My inability to grow a proper beard

3 parts of my heritage: British by birth, English by the grace of god! English and English

3 things I am wearing right now: Sock((s)OK happy now?!), shorts and tee shirt

3 favorite bands / musical artists: Oasis, The Sex Pistols and The Beatles

3 favorite songs: Angels (Robbie Williams), Jealous Guy (John Lennon) and Jerusalem

3 things I want in a relationship: Trust, Honesty and Freedom

3 physical things about the preferred sex other people that appeal to me: Smiles, outwardly affectionate and nice legs

3 of my favorite hobbies: Football (that's soccer to all you peasants), Rugby (that's your football without the pads and stoppages) and Politics
span style="color:#3366ff;">
3 things I want to do really badly right now: Finish this, Get another coffee and sit on a comfy chair

3 things that scare me: My Wife, My Wife and My Wife

3 of my everyday essentials: Coffee, Cigarettes and sleep

3 careers you have considered or are considering: Astronaut, professional Footballer and Prime Minister

3 places you want to go on vacation: Australia, Russia and Canada

3 kids' names you like: Liam, Kenneth and Amelia!!!

3 things you want to do before you die: Live, Ride another Superbike and watch England win the world cup

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy: I play in the dirt, I break things and hate bathing

3 ways I am stereotypically a chick: I clean, do the laundry and take care of the kids

3 celeb crushes: Meg Ryan, Boudicca and Elektra Natchios

A knight in shining armour?

2005-05-06T22:20:00.000Z

Who cares if it's shining or not!

Come on let's face it, we just want to hear the metal clanging together, sparks flying and tempers fraying.

Get down to one of these Knights' Tournaments and let's see some blood shed.

If it's anything like the re-enactment we saw at Nottingham Castle last year, this will be exhilarating and awe inspiring.

Friday's Feast - a buffet for your brain

2005-05-06T21:00:00.000Z

Friday's Feast - a buffet for your brain

Appetizer: Name a store or restaurant you no longer visit because of a bad experience you had there.

This has to be a little Indian Restaurant in the Home counties!!
My cousin, his wife and I had been out pub crawling and were a little peckish, well to cut a long story short, there was a dispute with the tip and the place was smashed up. We were attacked with machetes, carving knives and a baseball bat!
There restaurant didn't look to good after, and that night anyway, they never had to bother cleaning the huge front window!

Soup: If you could own any building in existence, which one would you want?

I would want the Vatican. I have a dream, ambition to get into the vaults and make public all the secrets the Church have been hiding for 2000 years!

Salad: What's your favorite commercial these days?

The British commercial for a digital camera printer.. Is it a picture or is it real?

Main Course: When was the last time you felt guilty about spending money, and what was it you purchased?

£20 for a Plymouth Argyle crested Zippo lighter.

Dessert: Friday's Feast is going to be having it's First Birthday in 2 weeks. What should we do to celebrate?

We should all converge on Beverley Hills and see what sort of charitable food and drink donations all these millionaires would offer

Always look on the bright side of life!

2005-05-06T18:22:00.000Z

1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.
2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.
3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.
5. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
6. 99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
7. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.
10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.

11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.

12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.
13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!
19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
20. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!

21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
22. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
23 . OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?
24. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED
SOMETHING.
26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.
27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?

31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.
32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
34. I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?
36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.
37. JUST REMEMBER - IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.
38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT
UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.

I am a Secret Agent

2005-05-04T21:14:00.000Z

My results for taking The Ultimate Personality test

You're a smart, shrewd loner. Chances are although you prefer solitude; you're a deeply caring person full of energy and ideas. On a personal level, you're sensitive. You may worry too much about how you compare to others, and your mood suffers under such intense personal scrutiny.

You like to eat lunch at your desk. You also have a critical eye that assures your final product is always top rate.

And that's just scratching the surface!

Which Peanuts character are you?

2005-05-04T13:38:00.000Z

Snoopy
Wishy-Washy: 28%, Mental: 50%, Physical: 71%

Joe Cool...you are the world's favourite beagle! Snoopy is owned by Charlie Brown (although this relationship often works the other way round) and spends his days sleeping on top of the kennel - that is, when he's not eating, writing novels or flying his Sopwith Camel against the Red Baron. Watch out for errant birds and the cat next door.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 16% on wishywashystuff
You scored higher than 0% on brainstuff
You scored higher than 99% on physicalstuff

Link: The Peanuts Character Test written by timberlineridge on Ok Cupid

One day to go.

2005-05-04T06:50:00.000Z

Well, with one day to go, which way will your vote go?

Unlike me, I hear that thousands of voters are still undecided, so let me take this opportunity to sway you!

We could go for the Tories and their push for

law and order and an honest Government !!!

The Liberal Democrats and

We are not a wasted vote

Our present Government, who's only crime in the past 10 years seem to be for supporting the coalition and the majority of the UN in taking a

stand against Iraq

I suppose there's always the option of the Greens, the BNP, the Monster's, the UKIP or any of the new independant candidates and their parties, but on a serious note

What's for dinner!?

Why bother with profiles?

2005-05-03T18:42:00.000Z

Well I never!

What a clever idea me thinks, edit my profile, put a few of my interests down and then browse other blogs for similar good tastes as mine...brilliant and so easy. "Wow, I'll soon have hundreds of links with people all over the world, varied interests to stimulate me."

Well, what do I find?

I find that I am way out of fashion, the things I am blogging, were blogged last year!
The people with the same interests as mine, have all been absent without leave, not one has posted since September 2004.

Do I feel special or what?

Oh well, it's back to the same ole places....... Bored, bored, bored.. com

Which Polyhedral Are You?

2005-05-03T13:49:00.000Z

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Tuesday is Chooseday

2005-05-03T12:25:00.000Z

Be creative, you know you wanna!

Would you rather:

1. Have a mobster cut off your hand, one finger at a time OR a crow peck out your eye?
I would rather have a crow peck out my eye. If I ever have problems with my sight, it will save me a fortune in contact lens'. Being a man, I love to do allsorts with my hands and couldn't be without one.

2. Wear nothing but lace for a month OR nothing but wool for a month? #
I think I would look pretty stupid or just plain pretty if I wore just lace for a month, so I'll take the male alternative, keeps the wife happy, and go with wool.

3. Eat taco sauce on everything OR eat what you want, but drink only whole milk?
Eat Taco sauce on everything. I don't eat breakfast or lunch, so it would be only once a day on a main meal, so I think I could handle that being overweight already, the whole milk would do me in!

4. Be stabbed in the big toe with a rusty nail OR kicked in knee cap 10 times?
If a tiny pet kitten were to be the kicker, then I would go with that. If not, and it's something much bigger, then Tetanus upto date, Rusty nail!

I am just a man!

2005-05-03T12:09:00.000Z

I have just taken this test and just made it over the threshold as thinking like a man.

Your Brain is 40.00% Female, 60.00% Male

You have a total boy brain

Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts

And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...

You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Patience dear man, patience

2005-05-02T11:19:00.000Z

Why oh why does this happen?

You know when you have been working all day, washing up, laundry, hoovering, dusting, preparing lunch, making the beds etc,.and then you think to yourself, "It's about time I had a break."

You sit down, sip on a cup of coffee and light a cigarette (fag), log onto your computer and start reading or blogging, then it comes...........

"Daddy, now that you're not busy..............."
"Honey, now that you're not busy..............."

Now, being the most laid back person I know and a very good advert for passive aggressiveness, I get up slowly, rise to the challenge and complete whatever is asked of me.

Once I've made everybody else happy, I return to my chill period!

"Daddy?"
"Honey?"

AAARRRGGGHHH!!! and calm

It's a good job I love my wife and children very much!

Parenting help, if you need it!

2005-05-01T12:59:00.000Z

Whilst being very vain and searching Google for my blog, I came across this Web site for help and advice on parenting issues.

I hope somebody out there finds this as interesting as I did.

The Life of Me

2005-04-30T23:40:00.000Z

Here's another one.

There I am, searching for that long lost, elusive relative, when suddenly I hear the news that I have been waiting for all these years, well, if you are a penny pincher like me, the 1861 Census is now available on-line!

My heart raced, I kicked the wife off the computer (well I waited patiently all day until she was finished) and searched for the census which would help me.

What did I find, apart from disappoinment, you need to subscribe. OK, not too bad, I can fill out a form, NO you need to SUBSCRIBE.......MONEY YOU FOOL.

Well that's where my interest in my long lost, elusive relative faded.

Bloody capitalists!!!

Political Fun

2005-04-30T22:56:00.000Z

Try this one out for size

Who says it doesn't matter?

The Life of Me

2005-04-30T20:15:00.000Z

Football:
Well, there you have it, 35 games and £300 million later, Chelsea have managed to win a league title. Congratulations to Jose and Roman, who'd have thought that you could do it, well we could just ask the Blackburn faithful as they were the last team to do it.

As for my team, a topsy-turvey season, top after 10 games and surviving to fight on another season in the Championship Plymouth Argyle Let's see what next season has to offer.

Politics:
Is the British Public so stupid?

I've been watching the news and reading the papers all about the Election 2005. Is it the media that believe this or are the Politicians talking down to us all?

Yes, we are a multi-cultural nation, but every one has had an education of some sort and should be able to make their own minds up about who they will honour with their vote.

Ok, there are a lot of people out there who are gullible, people who will follow their parents views and those who believe that the party system is a class issue. But I think that over the last 10 years, Tony Blair has had a great deal to do with the re-structuring of the publics' outlook on party politics, gone are the sleaze days of the Tories, the class divide and low wages, now the only thing the opposition parties can find to rant about is our involvement in the Iraq war, which the Tories supported.
Michael Howard has no right to raise this issue, Charles Kennedy on the other hand can.

I hope that we, the public, vote for the candidate who is more likely to honour their commitments to their constituents.

Saturday's Shampoo

2005-04-30T19:22:00.000Z

Lather: What is the most embarrassing family incident YOU WERE INVOLVED IN that you can recall? It can be something done to you, or by you.
This has to be a New Years party.......featuring my family and the Ex-wife......enough said

Rinse: Did you have a "lovey" (special blankie, stuffed animal, etc) as a child? Where is it now?
I had numerous footballs. My life then as now, was dominated by football and I wouldn't go anywhere without a ball, some thing to kick around, anytime and any place.

Repeat: Spread the blog love, what blogs have you seen lately that you think more people should be watching?
My lovely Wife's of course...

Amkeli's World

My own Blog

2005-04-30T18:11:00.000Z

Hello there,

Well as my Wife and Sister-in-law both have been blogging, thought I would see what all the fuss was about. Knowing nothing about computers, this could be the most basic blog you will ever come across but I hope the content will be to the point, interesting and humourous.